bus ride ponderings ...

I take the bus to work every day, as many of my fellow city-dwellers do. I rush out my door, up the little hill, past the McDonalds, then dart across the street toward the bus stop where (if all goes according to plan) my bus picks me up at 8:12am sharp. We drive through the sweet little Kerrisdale neighborhood, past my favorite tea shop, past the vintage clothing stores, past the organic grocery. I get off my bus at precisely 8:28am and make a quick run into Starbucks before I walk to my office. So goes the rhythm of my mornings.

Some people aren't fans of public transportation, but I don't mind it. There's something soothing about the bump-bump-bump of the bus rolling along Arbutus Street. I like sitting there with my iPod on, watching the city roll past me, not a care in the world. Believe it or not, my morning commute is actually a really soothing time of day for me. It's when I have time to think, to plan, to ponder, to reflect, to daydream without distraction. It's when I have time to listen to that still small voice inside of me without interruption. Now, before you get to thinking that I'm some kind of quiet time guru let me confess that, most days, my bus ride thoughts are rather mundane and borderline boring. I make mental to-do lists, I freak out when I realize so-and-so's birthday is coming up and I haven't bought a present yet, I think about what I'm going to make for dinner .. those kind of things. But every now and then, brilliance strikes. Like this morning when out of the blue I realized that -

I do not have to be everything, to everyone, all the time.

It's something I've been struggling with a lot this summer; that sense of wanting to be everybody's best friend and then becoming overwhelmed with guilt because I should be spending more time with so-and-so and I should write so-and-so an email and I should invite so-and-so over for dinner and I should, and I should, and I should.

Blogs are supposed to be a place to be honest, so can I just be honest for a minute? Truth is, I'm struggling to make time for everyone. And I realize what a huge BLESSING that is ... I mean, to have so many awesome friends and acquaintances that you're actually struggling to find time for each of them? That's beyond wonderful and I recognize how lucky I am. Problem is, despite how crazy FULL my schedule is with coffee dates and phone chats, at the end of each week I still find myself thinking "oh darn, I forgot to get together with this person ... oh shoot, I forgot to give that person a call."

Which brings me back to my bus ride moment of brilliance - I don't have to try and squeeze everybody in. Wow, what a revelation! What a relief! I don't have to try and be everybody's everything ... it's OK to devote most of my time and energy and "best friend-ness" to a handful of close friends and be plain old Stephanie to the rest.

It's OK to choose quality over quantity. And that's exactly what I'm choosing from here on out.

♥