wife-to-be thoughts, part one

I've been engaged for two full weeks now.

The whirlwind of emotions following Alan's heartfelt "will you marry me" have calmed, my girlfriends' high-pitched squeals of "oh my gosh, CONGRATULATIONS!" have ceased, the adrenaline rush that kept me awake for days has been replaced with an intuitive knowing that all is exactly as it should be. But the excitement is still there, bubbling beneath the surface, and every now and then it spills over in gratitude and awe and a sense of having been blessed beyond measure.

We've decided to get married this summer - on July 7th, to be exact - and while six months seems like an eternity to us, apparently it isn't that long in the world of reception venues and caterers and banquet halls. The last two weeks have been more than a little chaotic as we've worked to make a wedding budget, book our ceremony room, research reception venues, find a photographer, hire a makeup artist, order invitations, etc etc etc. Now, with so many of the wedding "biggies" taken care of, we can relax and breathe again ... and just take time to enjoy being engaged.

Engaged. Pledged to be married. Betrothed.

My friends have referred to me as "the bride-to-be" ... and, yes, that I am. In six short months, I'll walk down the aisle all dolled up like a princess in a beautiful white gown, smiling from the inside out and enjoying every moment of my picture perfect day. I have no doubt that it will be all I've ever dreamed of, and more.

But, more importantly, I am also a wife-to-be. In six short months, I will stand before my closest friends, my family, my God and promise somebody forever. I will promise to love him in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, 'til death do us part. In six months, my world will cease to be about "me" and "my needs" and the focus will become "we" and "our needs". In six months, I'll become somebody's partner and will vow to walk beside him through the good and bad. Some people have talked of marriage as a loss of personal freedom, but I'm not mourning the end of my single girl days.

I don't feel a sense of loss, just change. I feel like I'm standing on the cusp of a whole new season of life, anxiously peering in, waiting for a new adventure to begin ... and there's no other place I would rather be.

I'm marrying my best friend in six months, y'all. Until then, I'm gonna enjoy this special wife-to-be time ...