speaking heart language ♥

One of the things on my "bucket list" was to become a Sunday School teacher and, a few years ago when I still lived in Montreal, I had the opportunity to do just that. The church I was attending at the time had just launched a new Sunday morning curriculum for kids and teachers were needed. I think I literally ran into the minister's office waving my arms going "pick me! pick me! let me do it!"

I taught Sunday School there for two years. Two years of kid hugs and glitter all over the floor and Bible character puppets and off-key singing of "Jesus loves me, this I know". Two years of hearing the sweetest, most authentic prayers ever spoken. Two years of trying my best to fill these kids up with a sense of purpose and identity and conviction. Two years of sparkling little eyes looking up at me, waiting for answers I didn't have to offer. Two years of learning together - them learning "the facts" from me but, mostly, me learning "the truth" from them.

I remember one Sunday morning in particular. I was about to begin a lesson on on Jericho and how God made the walls come tumbling down when one of my students interrupted with a very important question.

"Miss Stephanie, what language does God speak?" she asked.

That's an easy one, I thought to myself. "God speaks all languages," I replied. "Every single one of them."

"Yeah, but which one will we speak in heaven?"

I put down my papers and pondered this for a minute because, truthfully, I'd never really given it much thought before. The Bible makes several references to believers worshiping together, lifting up praise and thanksgiving together, so will there be a predominant language in heaven? Hebrew, maybe? Or maybe we'll all speak in "tongues", the language of angels? They hadn't covered this in my theology courses at university.

Luckily, another student came to my rescue and informed the class, quite confidently, that:

"God speaks heart language. And when we get to heaven, we'll speak heart language too."

Wow. Talk about nailing it right on the head. Kids are just brilliant. Truly brilliant. ♥

"People brought babies to Jesus, hoping he might touch them. When the disciples saw this, they shooed them off. Jesus called them back. 'Leave these children alone. Don't get between them and me. These children are the kingdom's pride and joy. Mark this: unless you accept God's kingdom in the simplicity of a child you will never get it." - Luke 18:16-17

xo

Dear MTV ..

A friend of mine just posted this video on her Facebook page -

Watch it. Watch the whole thing. Trust me. It's powerful.

Human trafficking breaks my heart, and this video is an incredible representation of how human trafficking is such a large part of our culture & society. I loved the video and I don't want to take away from the message it's sending out.

But ....

I'm a little peeved that MTV, of all networks, helped produce it.

MTV - with their reality shows that focus on materialism and frivolous spending and wild nights at the club and "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" mentality.

MTV - with their video clips where women are parading around in nothing but lingerie and lyrics calling women "bitches" and "hoes" ... yeah it's censored, but we all know what's being said behind the beep.

I'm not an MTV hater. Really, I'm not. But it just strikes me as a little hypocritical, that's all. You may say I'm a dreamer (but I'm not the only one) - but I'm a firm believer that to make a real difference in the world you need to target/challenge people's attitudes and beliefs and their mindsets. As long as people are OK with women being portrayed as sex objects that are to be "won" and are easily discarded, there will be a huge market for sexual slavery and forced prostitution.

The video is great & I loved it & everyone should see it and share it ... but I think MTV missed the mark on this one, big time. Dear MTV - if you really want to join the fight against human trafficking, stop playing music videos that portray women as objects. And while you're at it, stop producing reality shows that teach tweens and teens that having the latest "it" accessory and living a big, glamorous life is the way to go.

Thoughts?

xo

Spotted.

I was walking home from church this afternoon when I noticed a C.S. Lewis quote etched onto a store window. "If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only explanation is that I was made for another world."

I didn't have my camera with me, so I quickly pulled out my cell phone and snapped this shot. I love the fact that the photo I captured has the window display with clothes and shoes, and the reflection of a car, and then the quote reminding us that none of these things ... not the fancy clothes or the cute shoes or the luxury car ... will ever be able to satisfy us. It was a reminder that I really needed today. I am not defined by anything in this world. Rather, what makes me whole and what truly completes me is my faith in what I know is waiting for me on the other side.

If anyone is interested, there's a beautiful song by Brooke Fraser that opens with that CS Lewis quote. You can hear it here.

Happy Sunday! xo

40 Days + 40 Nights ...

... without my beloved grande, non-fat, no-whip white chocolate mocha from Starbucks!

I don't usually give anything up for Lent. I am definitely NOT a believer in asceticism (aka rigorous self-denial and self-imposed suffering) and I actually think that kind of approach tends to lead us away from God's grace rather than pull us toward Him so it's a philosophy I try to steer clear of altogether. For the past few weeks, though, I've felt a little nudging in my heart telling me it *might* be a good idea to let go of something for Lent this year. And not just anything. Something very, very, precious to me .... Starbucks.

*excuse me while I bawl my eyes out and take a moment to compose myself*

OK. Here's the thing. As crazy as it sounds, Starbucks is a big part of my everyday life. It's where I grab lattes before work. It's where I meet up with friends for girl talk and impromptu counseling sessions. It's where I go when I need "down time" or when I need "quiet time" or when I need "me time" or any time, really. All this time I spend at Starbucks isn't necessarily a bad thing - I mean, there are FAR worse things I could be doing - but it does add up. Those $5.85 lattes add up financially and the calories add up health-wise. And all that time. *sigh* The time subtracts from time I could be spent doing other, way more important, way more meaningful, way more productive things.

Lately, I've been thinking about what would life look like if ...

• I took my time getting ready and had a nice, quiet Bible devotional each morning instead of rushing out the door to make sure I catch the earlier bus so I can swing by Starbucks before work?
• I baked pastries at home, from scratch, and ate them at my kitchen table in the morning while staring out at the mountains instead of grabbing them at Starbucks and eating them on the go?
• I invited my girlfriends over for a cozy, homemade brunch at my place instead of just arranging to meet up at Starbucks?
• I could have more honest heart-to-heart's with my friends over coffee without having to worry about eavesdropping strangers?
• I donated the money in my monthly Starbucks fund to a worthy charity?

What if Starbucks went back to being an occasional, once-in-a-blue-moon, "special" thing instead of an everyday thing?

So, for the first time in pretty much forever, I am giving up something for Lent. And, if I'm being honest, it's not really about the Starbucks. It's about being more intentional in my relationships, being wiser with my finances, being more health-conscious and slowing things down a little. It's about simplifying life, at least for a little while.

Have any of you ever given up anything temporarily? Was it easy for you, or did you count down the days until you could do it/eat it/drink it again?

-xoxo-

Jesus ♥'s me, even when I'm sick

Wow, folks. I am hardcore sick. What started out as a bad cold seems to have morphed into a ridiculous flu and so I spent the whole day today in bed trying my hardest not to pass out. Luckily,12 hours and a bowl or two of chicken noodle soup later and I'm feeling a wee bit better. Better enough to write a blog post at least.

The prompt for day seven was to write about someone/something who has had the biggest impact on your life. Immediately, I thought "well, Jesus of course." But then I started to second-guess my choice thinking people might find it too preachy, too awkward, too politically incorrect. I toyed with the idea of writing about my amazing momma, Wendy, who is seriously one of the greatest women to walk the earth and whom I adore. Look up "world's best Mom" in the dictionary and I bet you'll find her photo there. I thought of writing about my sweet boy who is stuck in San Fransisco for work (again!) but who took the time to go on a little road trip across the city and find the new Anthology magazine for me. He's a keeper, y'all. I could have written about my besties who make me laugh every day and who love me despite the fact that I'm bossy and stubborn. Or the college professor who taught a class on The Ethics of Art that made me fall in love with Dorothea Lange. Or my figure skating coach, or my sister, or my pastor, or my daddy - there are *so* many people who have left footprints on my heart.

But, at the end of the day, no one has impacted, influenced, changed, transformed and inspired me more than Jesus Christ. I don't want to get into my whole testimony because it's long and complicated and it would turn this blog post into a novel. Long story short - Jesus is at the core of every decision I make, every step I take, every value I embrace, every good thing that has come into my life. And as a result, to quote song lyrics from the amazing Brooke Fraser, "I am changing, less and less asleep. Made of different stuff than when I began."

Jesus, you make all things new. Thank you

xo

food for thought ♥

A few months ago, I was browsing through a stationary store when I stumbled across a card that said: This is your world. Shape it or someone else will. That card ended up coming home with me, and has been sitting on my window ledge by my desk ever since.

I have to remind myself on a daily basis that this is my world and by God's grace I am equipped to shape it. I know that I won't be able to fix all of the problems in my friends' lives, but I can listen and I can love and I can support. And, in doing so, I am "shaping" a tiny part of the world.

No one person can change the whole world, but we can all do our best to shape one little part of it. xox

There Are No Words ...

There are just no words to capture what I'm feeling today. The last 48 hours have left me completely transformed and forever changed. In the past 48 hours, I have witnessed absolute brokenness ... and also absolute restoration. I have comforted a young woman who just had an abortion and celebrated with another who has just chosen to follow Jesus. Out of respect for the people involved, I am not going to go into detail. After all, you never know who might be reading this blog and these are not my stories to share.

What I will say is this ... God's love is bigger. No matter what you are going through, no matter how overwhelmed you are, no matter how many mistakes you've made, no matter how bad you think it is - God's love is bigger. It will always be bigger.

xox

Girls Night ♥

If I wasn't already head over heels in love with my job as an intern with Born for More, then last night officially sealed the deal. I LOVE working at University of British Columbia! I LOVE the students. I LOVE being a part of something bigger and better than myself.

Every Friday night, Born for More hosts a girls' group. The idea is to offer the students something fun, free & safe to do on a Friday night so that they won't be as tempted to go out partying and get themselves into other kinds of mischief. It's also a great way for students to meet other like-minded students on campus. Last night, we met and ate chicken dumplings, brownies and chocolate chip cookies. Then we busted out a game of Cranium. There were lots of laughs, some friendly competitive rivalry and great discussion. There are 9 lovely ladies in our group, and each one of them is such a blessing to get to know! I am honored to be a part of their experience here at UBC.

Do any of you host or attend girls' nights? If so, what are some of the activities y'all enjoy doing?

xoxox

PS - Thank you to my amazing & sweet Mommy who sent me my Cranium board game in the mail. The girls loved it!

Privileged.

"Privileged" is the word that's on my heart tonight.

Katie's brother-in-law is an actor currently starring in a play that's part of the Vancouver Fringe Festival. This evening, a group of us went out to cheer him on and support local theater. The play was fantastic, and as I was walking home I had what I like to call a "movie moment" ... one of those moments in life where everything seems just as it should, when all of the pieces seem to fall into place just right, where everything is so picture perfect it's almost as if you're playing a part in a scripted drama.

It had been raining for most of the evening, but by the time the play ended the rain had stopped ... the streets were still wet, though, so you could hear the cars swooshing through puddles as they drove past you and the sidewalks were glistening with the residue of raindrops and the air smelled fresh and clean and spring-like. I was walking along Granville Street and the sound of soft jazz music and conversation and laughter just spilled out of the coffee shops and restaurants. I could see the downtown skyline off in the distance, all lit up like a birthday cake. I was marveling at the fact that I can walk from the theater to my apartment (a dream come true!) and having one of those "wow, I can't believe I live here" moments and when I got to the corner of Granville and 12th Avenue, I just paused to take it all in.

I live here. I live here, in beautiful Vancouver. And not only do I live here, but I love living here. And not only do I love living here, but I love the life I get to live here.

And do you know what hit me, as I was standing there on the corner of Granville and 12th? This beautiful life that I am currently living ... this life of "movie moments" ... this life would never have come to be if I had not listened to that still, small voice inside of me nudging me to venture west instead of east. God made it very clear to me that Vancouver was where He wanted me to be, and so I came obediently. And that obedience had led to moments and experiences and blessings that have completely transformed my life in ways I never would have imagined.

I am really humbled by the reality that this life that I am blessed to be living & that I love so much was none of my doing. I didn't plan this. I didn't choose this. This was not the life I thought I wanted. My plans, my dreams, my goals, my ambitions ... they were all scattered somewhere between Times Square and Central Park in the hustling bustling cosmopolitan empire that is Manhattan.

I'm reading a fantastic book right now by an incredible woman named Elisabeth Elliott. In one of the chapters she talks about how, contrary to popular belief, she feels that being single is a gift that should be cherished. She writes: "Having now spent more than 41 years single, I have learned that it is indeed a gift. Not one I would choose. Not one many women would choose. But we do not choose gifts, remember?"

That line has stuck with me ever since I read it - we do not choose gifts.

Standing there on that street corner, I realized that I did not choose this life, but it was chosen for me. When I first moved here, I moved with a sense of obligation ... a sense that this was "Plan B" ... but now, just a few months shy of a year later, I know for a fact that my life in Vancouver was a gift from God to me. This is the life I need. This is the life I was made to live. This is the life that will make me happy. This city, this job, this ministry, these friends ... this is my purpose. This life is a gift and I am so incredibly privileged to have been given it. It may have been my Plan B, but it was never (not for a minute!) God's Plan B.

Thank you so much, Lord, for the amazing life you have given to me.

Privileged. That's what I am. ♥

This post was originally posted on my other blog, Faith in the City.

remembering.

I got this email forward from my Mom today, and it just really touched my heart. We knew someone who passed away in the horrible events of 9/11 so this day is always a rough one for me personally. This poem is so beautiful & it really brought me some peace today. I hope it does the same for you.

---------------------------------------------------------

You say you will never forget where you were when you heard the news on September 11th, 2001. Neither will I.

I was on the 110th floor in a smoke filled room with a man who called his wife to say "goodbye". I held his fingers steady as he dialed. I gave him the peace to say, "Honey, I am not going to make it out of here but it's OK. I am ready to go."

I was with his wife when he called. She was getting ready to feed breakfast to their children. I held her up as she tried to understand his words and as she realized that he wouldn't be coming home that night.

I was on all four of those planes, in every seat, with every prayer.

I was with the crew as they were over-taken.

I was in the hearts of all the believers there, comforting and assuring them that their faith has saved them, whispering "today you will be with Me in paradise."

I was in Texas, Virginia, California, Michigan. I was in Mexico and England and France. I was in Afghanistan. I was standing next you you when you heard the terrible news. Did you sense Me?

I want you to know that I saw every face. I knew every name, even though not all of them knew Me. Some met me for the first time on the 86th floor. Some sought Me with their last breath. Some chose, for the final time, to ignore Me. But I was there.

If you are reading this, then I did not place you in the Towers that day. You may not know why you were spared, but I do. September 11th 2001 was not the end of the journey for you. But someday, your journey will end. And when it does, I will be there for you just as I was for them.

I will be in the stairwell of your final moments.

Love, God.

beach prayers ♥

xox

You Gotta Have Faith ♥

My mommy arrived in VanCity this morning. I was really sad that I couldn't get the morning off to go meet her at the airport (my boss is in Las Vegas on a business trip and he really wanted me to hold the fort down at the office while he was away - a huge compliment, of course, but a bit of a bummer). But anyways it all worked out for the best ... Mom took a taxi from the airport to my office and dropped her bags off with me, and then headed down to the beach where I'll join her later this afternoon. And yes ... I'm blogging at work. It's a quiet morning, so shoot me! :oP

I'm so excited that Mom is here. Of course she helped me move back in December, but it was such a bittersweet experience and I'll never forget how horrible I felt when I watched the skytrain pull away from the station with my mom inside, knowing that I was literally being left alone in a big huge city. The six months that followed were incredibly "touch and go" - those of you who know me really well probably received an email or two from me telling you that moving here was the worst decision I ever made and that I wanted to go back to Montreal, pronto. Back in February and March there is NO WAY I would have imagined my mom flying in for a visit and me having all these things to show her ... favorite hotspots, new friends, an apartment I love.

There were two conversations that changed things around for me. The first was via long-distance telephone with Catherine, who told me: "The decision to move out west is not going to mess up your entire future. Even if you decide to come back to Montreal, you'll come back with a million lessons learned. You haven't wasted anything by taking a chance." The second conversation was with my new Vancouver friend, Jen. We were walking along the seawall on a foggy Sunday afternoon and she stopped me. She pointed across the water and said: "Look at all that fog. You can't even see the mountains. If someone had never been to Vancouver before and they looked out over this water, there is no way they would believe us that there are huge mountains just on the other side of the shore. It's kind of like that with God sometimes, too. Right now, everything is all foggy for you. But God can see through the fog. You just have to trust Him."

When my mom walked through the door of my office, I was really overwhelmed with emotion because I know that this was a moment that almost didn't happen. So many times I wanted to quit, give up, pack my bags and go back to the life I had left behind. The only thing that kept me here in Vancouver was my faith. Faith that this was where God wanted me to be, even though it was breaking my heart. Faith that greater things were on their way. Faith that God would provide a new apartment (check) ... a Christian roommate (check) ... a wonderful church community (check) ... loving friends who have become my west coast family (check) ... experiences that would make me grow (check).

There was an online crop over at the Scrapbook Star message board over the weekend, and I made this layout:

The journaling says: "I will sing of the Lord's great love forever. No matter how lost I feel, I will faith." I think that pretty much sums up where I am in my spiritual walk these days.

I'm signing off now so I can wrap up my work and head out to meet my darling momma. I have to show her around my city ... my new hometown. And yes - this lovely city by the sea really has become home. It's amazing what 6 months of walking by faith can do!

xox

You Are For Me

OK, so I LOVE Kari Jobe. She is, without a doubt, one of my favorite worship leaders, singers, songwriters and overall people! She just has a way of writing the most beautiful songs that reflect exactly what I am going through. I listen to her albums on repeat and they never fail to uplift me and inspire me and remind me of God's faithfulness and love. She has just released her very first music video and I am soooooooo proud. This is her song, You Are For Me ...

I love everything about this video, but I especially love the message in the lyrics: "I know that You are for me. I know that You will never forsake me in my weakness." So, so true. If God is for us .. if God is rooting for us and cheering us on no matter how many times we stumble and fail, then who can be against us ... right?! Right. Amen. :)

xox

Better Than A Hallelujah

All who are thirsty ...

On Sunday, May 2nd my entire church volunteered to help out at the annual Vancouver Marathon. Our task? Arrive at 8am in the pouring rain, set up tables and eventually hand out water and gatorade to runners as they passed by. Our station was located toward the end of the race. By the time runners reached us, they had already been running for almost two hours. They were sweaty and tired and fed up, and some were even bleeding from their blisters. It was not exactly the most glamorous way to spend a Sunday morning, but we were excited and full of adrenaline and eager to help.

Volunteering at the marathon was an amazing experience for me. Not only was it super inspiring to see people of all ages running past me, but it was an amazing feeling to know that I was playing a teeny tiny part in helping these total strangers accomplish their goal. The runners had their names printed on the front of their shirts, and we'd cheer them on as they ran past us ... "Way to go Isabelle, you're doing great! Keep going Mark, you're almost there!" It was impossible to miss the look of sheer gratitude on their faces as they reached for a cup or heard us call out their name.

I think it was quite fitting that we volunteered as a church since God seems to be a fan of marathons. You can find several different verses in the Bible where the analogy of running a race is used to describe what life is like. I think Hebrews 12:1 might just be my favorite. It is written: "Let us run with endurance the race God has set before us." After experiencing a marathon first-hand, I don't think it's a coincidence that God chose to use racing as a metaphor for life. We're all running towards something. We all have moments where we're full of adrenaline and feel like we're flying ... and other moments when it takes all our energy just to put one foot in front of the other. And we're all able to run a little better when we have people encouraging us.

My experience at the marathon has me thinking about how I encourage (or, perhaps, fail to encourage) my peers in the race of life. How am I doing, really, when it comes to cheering people on? Who do I know that might need a little cup of gatorade or a special "you can do it!" shoutout? How can I be a cheerful face with helping hands on days when it's pouring rain and freezing cold? What am I running toward and who do I look to for encouragement?

Mmmm ... just some of my thoughts tonight. :)

wise words:

I have a feeling my blog is going to be taking a new direction in the next few weeks because, truth is, my life has taken a new direction since moving to Vancouver four months ago. The past four months have been so educational and so humbling. I have grown so much as a person, as a woman and as a Christian. There is a lot of healing and a lot of learning going on in this heart of mine, and I want to share some of that with you all. I'm just not sure where to begin and how much to share, so I'm going to need a little more time to truly get my thoughts organized and write some coherent blog posts. But I'm looking forward to sharing my heart a little more.

-xox-

Easter Thoughts

"Since we've compiled this long and sorry record as sinners .. and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, God did it for us. Out of sheer generosity He put us in the right standing with Himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we're in and restored us to where He always wanted us to be. And He did it by means of Jesus Christ."

- Romans 3:23-24, The Message paraphrase

Sunday Thought: Welcome To Our World

* Last week, my pastor preached an amazing message about the context of Christmas - how God sent His Son into a broken world .. a world full of sadness and pain ... to bring hope and salvation. Our pastor reminded us that 2009 years later, the world is still broken. There is still sadness and pain. For many people, the Christmas season is the most difficult time of the year and is far from joyful. BUT .. when you cast your eyes upon the infant King, there is always hope. Then the children's choir got up and sang this song.*

Tears are falling, hearts are breaking ...
how we need to hear from God.
You've been promised, we've been waiting ...
Welcome Holy Child
Welcome Holy Child

Hope that You don't mind our manger,
how I wish we would have known.
But long awaited, Holy Stranger ... make Yourself at home.
Please make Yourself at home.

Bring Your peace into our violence,
Bid our hungry souls be filled.
Word now breaking heaven's silence,
Welcome to our world.
Welcome to our world.

Fragile finger sent to heal us ...
Tender brow prepared for thorn.
Tiny heart whose blood will save us ...
Unto us is born.
Unto us is born.

So wrap our injured flesh around You,
Breathe our air and walk our sod.
Rob our sin and make us holy,
Perfect Son of God.
Perfect Son of God.

... Welcome to our world ...

Sunday Thought: I'm Letting Go

On Friday, I bought Francesca Battistelli's new CD and I've been listening to it on repeat all weekend long. I can relate to every single song ... it's as if she took the words right out of my heart and put it all to music! Incredible.

Anyways, I'm especially fond of the song I'm Letting Go. It's a song about trusting God and letting Him control your destiny in life and embracing whatever that destiny may be. The lyrics to the chorus are: "I'm letting go of the life I've planned for me and my dreams. I'm losing control of my destiny ... it feels like I'm falling and that's what it's like to believe ... so I'm letting go ..."

This week has been a week of letting go for me. As many of you know, I've been a little bit overwhelmed lately with my post-graduation plans. Things haven't been going quite as smoothly as I hoped and I was getting really frustrated and discouraged. People kept telling me not to worry and reminded me that "when God closes one door, He always opens another" .... but I was beginning to wonder where I would be come January and what I would be doing.

Well ..... this week, a door finally opened. A door I never in a million years expected to walk through, but I'm so excited that I would run through it right now if I could! I wish I could spill all the beans right this second, but I can't. I still have a few things to work out and I need to wait until I receive a formal letter of confirmation .... but I can tell you that it has something to do with this:

and this, too:


*happy sigh* God is so incredibly faithful! :o)

So if you're not sure where you're headed on this journey we call life, I encourage you to pick up a copy of Francesca's CD and listen to song #2 .... and then go read Romans 8:28 which promises that "in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."

He's got a plan for you! Just be patient and wait expectantly. :o)

happy Sunday!
xox

Sunday Thought: Thanks, God!

"And whatever you do, whether word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, giving thanks to God the Father through him!" {Colossians 3:17}

When I worked at the coffee shop, I had a co-worker named Angelica who had just moved to Canada from Romania. She spoke very little French and even less English. Nonetheless, she caught on to our language pretty quickly. Sometimes, though, she would make little mistakes in the expressions. For example - instead of saying "thank God!" she would say "thanks God!". It always made me smile.

Do you notice the difference between the two? The first one is a statement about what we should be doing. "Thank God I got through the day. Thank God for all the blessings in my life. Thank God that I got to the bus stop on time." The second is an active statement of thanks. "Thanks, God, for getting me through today. Thanks, God, for all the blessings in my life. Thanks, God, for getting me to the bus stop on time."

Lately I've been thinking that maybe Angelica's take on the expression was more accurate than our traditional one. Maybe we should be saying "thanks, God!" a little more and "thank God" a little less. Let's not waste time stating what we should do ... let's just do it!

Happy Thanksgiving!
xox