My best friend told me that my last Sunday Thought post was "a real downer" ... so if you felt the same, I should probably warn you that tonight's won't be much better. I recieved two very sad bits of news this weekend - one friend just suffered a miscarriage and the other was told that her mother (who is currently in hospital) likely only has a few days left. If anyone knows how we're supposed to procress news like that ... how we're suppose to make sense of it or come to accept it ... please let me know. Because all I was able to do was weep. I just cried and cried, and then I got on my knees to pray.
I prayed that God would comfort the couple who had just lost their unborn baby. And I prayed for a miracle for my friend's mother ... because I believe in miracles. I have been a witness to miraculous healing before, and I believe with everything in me that I serve a God who loves to heal His children and who rejoices when they are healthy and well. But as I prayed, I couldn't help but wonder - "why, God?" ... why are some healed and others not? How come somewhere in the world tonight there's a couple leaving the hospital with their newborn baby, and my friends are leaving with shattered dreams and broken hearts? How come my friend is preparing to say goodbye to her mother when, somewhere in the world, there's a mother on her way home to her kids ... healthy and back to normal? In my last post, I talked about the glorious moment that God promises is on its way .... but in the meantime, why do innocent people have to suffer so much?
I can't answer those questions.
I can't explain the ways of my God.
Oh, sure ... I could give you some theological rhetoric and make some logical arguments to explain things... but the honest truth is just that I don't know. That's why I'm not God.
What I do know is that our circumstances (and our inability to understand them) do not change the fact that God is good. When we cry, God cries. When we feel hopeless, God is right there by our side. When we can't walk any further, God carries us. And when life causes us to question and doubt, God patiently takes us by the hand and reminds us that He's in control. Even when we don't understand.
In this video, worship leader Jill explains how she continued to worship and trust God, even when everything in her life seemed to fall apart. At the end of the interview there's a clip of Jill and Brooke performing "Desert Song" live at Hillsong Church .... I think it's the perfect song to listen to at times like these:
All of my life ... in every season ... You are still God ... I have a reason to sing .... I have a reason to worship.
thank you for praying for us Steph. Like Jill said my circumstance does not change the fact that God is on the throne. Thank you for posting this. xxoo
ReplyDeleteI too had a miscarriage and wondered why me! Perhaps I wasn't deserving but then I realized maybe there was something horribly wrong and this was a way to spare my unborn child a life of pain and suffering. Life works in mysterious ways and I hope that your friend will be able to move past the pain and try again.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to Megan and her family and I hope that the healing process is not a difficult one!!!
*hugs* I've pondered this many times as well. As you've read at my blog, our family has been going through a lot lately. We've suffered things that will forever change us, but through it all God is still faithful.
ReplyDeleteI'll be praying for your friends. It's never easy to loose a loved one, whether you've met them or not. I know the pain well of loosing your unborn children. It's a pain like no other.